Absurd Christmas movies are proliferating across the media landscape like a whimsical but terrifyingly invasive species of flower. There’s no better example of the sheer unhinged delight this genre can afford like The Knight Before Christmas.
The premise is pretty simple, really: A 14th century knight named Cole is zapped to 2019 Ohio so that he can fulfill the special quest that will make him a “true” knight, which in this case is not being roped into yet another ill-advised edition of the Crusades but rather something involving his heart. Leaving his trusty steed galloping back to the castle, confused, he lands smack in the middle of a town Christmas festival, where the attendees include a high school teacher named Brooke who’s been burned so badly by her cheating ex that she feels comfortable telling one of her students that fairytales about love are bogus. (Fun to imagine that student’s conversation with her mom when she got home!) Brooke hits Cole with her car and, assuming he has some sort of amnesia as a result, volunteers to take him in. Obviously, they fall in love in the week that leads up to Christmas, bonding over food, the blizzard rescue of Brooke’s niece, and also binge-watching Netflix.
This setup might seem ludicrous and completely off-the-wall, except for readers of old-school romance novels, who will be very familiar with the time-traveling medieval romance trend of the early 1990s, which kicked off with Jude Deveraux’s Knight in Shining Armor. (It’s the publishing context that originally produced Outlander.) It’s a well-established trope, but it doesn’t really make sense for a number of reasons even if you grant the premise of magic. For one thing, somebody from 14th century England wouldn’t speak fancy but basically modern English. He’d speak Middle English, and he wouldn’t be able to read a diner menu, either. The movie seems to have cobbled together its understanding of what knights actually were and did from the back of a Melissa and Doug dress-up set and maybe a quick peek at whatever automatically populates on the Google search page for “knights.” Whatever! It’s fine. We’re not on an episode of the BBC’s In Our Time, here Bola Deposit Pulsa.